Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
