Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
