yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
