he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
they're like a gay fantastic four
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
