is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Are my feet made of real feet?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
