Girls should come with a carfax report
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I enjoy the company of your penis
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
