Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I smell stomach acid.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
