I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
