i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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