you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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