I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
