Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
