You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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