Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
