You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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