This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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