well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
