Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
