I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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