He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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