put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
