"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
