I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
