I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
