I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
