Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
