i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
