Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
