I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
