Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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