I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
