Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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