Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
