You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
