First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
