I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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