the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
