I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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