im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
