Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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