I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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