He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
