How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
