its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
