Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
