ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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