We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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