What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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