i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
