But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
